Polly want a… cupcake?

I definitely believe that 3 of the best things in life are food, sex and sleep and preferably in that order!  But somehow I think there is somewhat of an issue when you are doing 2 of those things at the same time. You might remember one of my posts about sexsomnia when I talked about people who have sex while they are sleeping and are not even conscious of what they are doing. This might sound like a good time, but when you’re waking up from a long night’s “sleep” more exhausted than you were when you went to bed, not so much fun.

Now combining food and sex is a little different because you have to be conscious of what you are doing. Some people find the act of eating extremely erotic and experience a strong attraction to overweight or obese people. This is usually know as fat fetishism or feederism. Donna Simpson, a woman who was featured on the Tyra show, weighed over 500 pounds at the time the episode aired. However, she was not happy with her weight because she actually wanted to weigh 1,000 pounds! Her goal was to be the fattest woman in the world. Her husband was happy with her weight and found her “fatness and roundness” to be beautiful. He even expressed that he liked the way overweight woman sat with their legs spread wide so that their bellies could hang in between their thighs.  He would be known as a “Fat Admirer,” or F.A. for short.When I watched this episode I was so surprised because it is the complete opposite of the way most people in our society think of body image and it is different from what the media influences us to believe. If you don’t believe it either here is a clip of Donna and her husband on the Tyra show:

Now Donna was the one that first caught my attention on this show because it was so different to see people who were sexually attracted to people of such astounding weights. But some of the other women on the show had some even more surprising things to say. Jessica, another woman who was featured on the same episode, said that her husband actually enjoyed feeding her doughnuts and chocolate while they were having sex and played with her belly telling her he wanted it to be bigger. At the time of the show Jessica weighed over 400 pounds but her husband wanted her to weigh at least 500 pounds. This particular relationship was different from the one Donna had with her husband because Jessica no longer felt comfortable weighing that much and having her husband feed her and she was even afraid of losing weight for fear that her husband might leave her. Here is a clip of Jessica on the show:

After having seen these 2 women and their different lifestyles, you can see that there are all kinds of people out there. The world is not full of men and women who are attracted to the Cameron Diaz-es and Paris Hiltons of the world. I commend these women for standing up for the things they like in life even if they are different from what most people enjoy. The only things I would have to disagree with are the fact that Donna may be greatly jeopardizing her health in hopes of reaching her goal  and Jessica may be living a certain lifestyle in order to make her husband happy.

If you do something in your sex life that you think is strange or different embrace it. Not everyone is the same and people enjoy all kinds of different things. But just remember to keep your health in mind and stay true to yourself!

Sex quote of the day: “Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can’t even get into my own pants.”

One Night Stands

I was talking to a few girlfriends the other night and we were discussing the inner conflicts we sometimes have when it comes to sex. One of my friends was talking about the argument she often has with herself when she is about to sleep with a new man. She goes out and has a great time and finds a cutie that turns her on. As the night comes to an end they both go somewhere together and start to get it on. This is where her mind begins to wander and she plays her own version of 20 questions. Her first problem is that she doesn’t like the way sex with a condom feels. (Maybe she should read my post on Safe (and good) sex) But… being a responsible woman she knows she can only have unsafe sex with someone she has known for a longer time and can trust. So she can risk having sex that, in her opinion, will suck or she can risk contracting an STD or getting pregnant. The even bigger problem is that by the time she has finished running all of her options through her head and coming to a conclusion, her body has been absent-mindedly enjoying everything this man has been doing to her. She realizes that she has allowed him to touch, kiss, and caress her and she has been doing the same to him. She lays there half undressed as the moment nears when they might have sex. But then… she comes to her senses and realizes she  doesn’t want to make a decision she might regret and she politely makes an excuse as to why she needs to leave. Time and time again this happens and we can only wonder if she will only be able to feel comfortable having sex when she is in a long term relationship.

Here’s some stand-up by Dane Cook (who, by the way, I think is definitely a hottie) about a one night stand he had…

I bring up this one friend and her situation because I am sure this is a dilemma many of you out there face very often. What is it about one night stands that is so appealing and intriguing? Perhaps it is the ability to enjoy oneself without having to face any consequences or be burdened with any responsibility the next day. A night of pure pleasure with no strings attached. It seems so simple. However, what if the one night stand is something we come to regret one day? What if it is something that in fact brings with it more stress rather than peace of mind?

The media make one night stands seem like a simple whimsical thing people do on the weekends,  but in real life I think people sometimes grapple with the idea of sleeping with someone and not hearing from them again.

Here’s a song you might enjoy:

Sex quote of the day: “:Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.”

Sex on the Beach

I recently got back from a 10-day trip to Jamaica, which was an amazing gift from my wonderful boyfriend. Our time there could not have been any better. The weather was always amazing and the drinks were delicious! If you ever have the chance to go, I would definitely recommend it!

Here we are drinking a "Jamaican Smile"

Here I caught my boyfriend with the amazing scenery in the background

I have to admit, though, that after I found out I would be taking my 1st vacation with just my boyfriend to a tropical island, I wondered what it would be like to have sex on the beach. And I definitely don’t mean the drink!

I remember when one of my good friends told me he had gone on vacation and “did the damn thing” with his girl right in the ocean and they hadn’t even waited for the beach to clear off! Talk about risqué! It sure sounded exciting to me, but I still wasn’t sure if I could do something like that!

Once my honey and I got to the beach I think my mind was made up instantly. I couldn’t imagine being intimate and sexy in a place that had slimy seaweed touching me every few minutes and I definitely did not want to get sand in places where one should never have sand! The beach we stayed at even had grassy-like seaweed everywhere you stepped in the water & it creeps me out when I can’t see what’s under the water. For me, sex on the beach in Jamaica was a definite no! The romance and excitement about sex on the beach had disappeared 😦

And what if we had gotten caught? First of all, it would probably be the most embarrassing moment of my life & it would be rude to whoever had seen us. The resort we stayed at was pretty family oriented. Not to mention, I don’t know what the severity of our punishment would be. Lots of people have gotten off with just a warning, but public indecency is certainly illegal in most places and I wouldn’t want to be involved in any legal issues in another country. No thanks!

By the way, have you watched Sex and the City 2? Samantha gets herself into a bit of trouble in Abu Dhabi because of her sexual escapades in public 😉 Here’s a clip, but I suggest you watch the whole movie. I’m such a Sex and the City fan 🙂

Sex quote of the day: “A promiscuous person is someone who is getting more sex than you are.”

Safe (and good) sex

Everyone is always talking about having safe sex and all the precautions we must take when deciding to jump into bed with someone. But what is the 1st thing that comes to mind when someone talks about safe sex? STDs? Unplanned pregnancies? It’s all negative!

We should focus on what can be good… and I mean REALLY good about safe sex!

Let’s start with flavored condoms… If you’re going to have to put your mouth or any body part on a piece of rubber it might as well taste good right? Who wants to have that nasty rubber taste and smell on them? BUT with flavored condoms you don’t have to worry about that! Here are some of the flavors they have out there & I’m sure you can find many more…

Now how about condoms that can actually make sex feel even better! Yeah, I bet you didn’t even know that was possible huh?

Trojan Fire & Ice Condoms: These condoms have lubricant on the inside and the outside and it gives both partners a warm tingly sensation. And I don’t mean like putting Icy Hot down there (ouch!) This is the perfect subtle blend of both of those feelings! Plus, it won’t even feel like you have a condom on. Here is the commercial for these awesome condoms:

Durex Extra Sensitive Condoms: These condoms are 20% thinner than most other condoms so it feels like there isn’t anything there. And what’s better than feeling like you aren’t wearing a condom but being protected by one at the same time? They are even coated with a silky lubricant and don’t have a strong latex smell.

Those are 2 types of condoms that can help sex feel amazing and safe at the same time. For more of these check out this list of the best condoms at Consumer Search!

And you can always try other fun things to use with condoms like vibrating condom rings! Sex and vibrating are 2 words that always go together & always feel good 😉 Check some of these out at Undercover Condoms! And here’s an ad for one that was banned…

So next time someone brings up safe sex you know it doesn’t have to sound so negative and boring. Remember… now you don’t have any excuses to have unsafe sex. Safe sex can feel good too!

Sex quote of the day: “Sex is emotion in motion.”

Sext Cheating

So this morning on my way to work I was listening to Hot 93.7 and they were talking about Rep. Anthony Weiner. That’s nothing new though. Everyone is talking about him and his weiner! If any of you have been living under a rock and don’t know the story, here is the short version:

Anthony Weiner is a member of the House of Representatives from New York’s 9th district. Last month he sent a picture via twitter to a woman in which he was wearing only boxer briefs. Now he’s in the middle of a huge scandal as one could only imagine he would be! And let me remind you all… the man has not even been married for ONE year!

Here’s a video that gives some insight into what has been going on:

So here’s the interesting part of the radio show: some people thought this was not considered cheating. Now I find this to be a bit surprising. Here is a man who is sending explicit pictures of his private parts to women besides his wife and that’s not cheating? What is the meaning of fidelity nowadays?

One woman on the radio claimed that she was married to her husband for 12 years and that everything that took place via telephone was “free reign”. That means her husband can cheat over the phone but not in person? And how far can he go? I don’t know about that…

Other people thought it was definitely cheating. What do you all think about this? Did Weiner cheat on his wife?

Sex quote of the day: “Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got.”