About Jasmine

I have a degree in journalism/ gender studies and sexualities from the University of Connecticut. I am interested in all fields of journalism.

Indecent Proposal

indecent proposalThis past weekend I stayed in and watched old movies because unlike most twenty-somethings my calendar remains absolutely clear! (Note to self: I need more friends!) Anyway, I stumbled upon the movie Indecent Proposal, and I freaking loved it! Any movie that can have me thinking about it days after I’ve watched it is a good movie in my book. Plus, it stars Demi Moore as a young, sexy housewife named Diana… who wouldn’t like that?!

In the movie, Diana and her husband, David, are approached by gazillionaire, John Gage, with an unusual business proposition. John asks David if he would allow him to spend one night with his wife in exchange for $1 million. At first Diana and David are appalled and disgusted. However, with their recent financial hardships, they are unable to refuse the offer on the table so Diana goes on to spend one night with John and then goes back to her husband.

Here is the intense scene where John Gage actually asks the couple:


This really got me thinking! I mean, when I first heard that question come out of John’s mouth I was disgusted! First of all, I hate when people flash their money around like it’s the answer to all the world’s problems. Second of all, I couldn’t even imagine any person ever taking him up on that offer! Then I watched as Diana and David rationalized their answer and made it sound logical and reasonable. After all, it was “just sex,” the way they put it. So I began to wonder, might other people make the same decision they made?

I asked some of my friends and I actually got mixed answers, which surprised me! Some people said they would never allow that to happen. One person brought up something I would have never thought about. He said, “What if that happened to be my last night to be with her? You never know what can happen. There is more to life than just money and I would never do that.” Others said they would take the million!

In my opinion, as appealing as that amount of money sounds,  if you truly value and cherish your partner, you could never make a deal like this. It may seem easy to call it “just sex” and forget about it the next day, but I think it’s a lot harder than it sounds. Sex will always be an emotional and intimate connection between two people and I think it would be difficult for a couple to forget about something like this. I feel like it would always be in the back of both people’s minds and it would slowly deteriorate the relationship. (And although the movie did have a happy ending, this is exactly what began to happen)

My question to you all is: Do you think you would allow your partner to be with another person for just one night in exchange for a large amount of money? And if so, do you think you could forget about it and continue being in a happy relationship?

Sex quote of the day: “It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.”

Some say the ex…

You know what comes next!! For those of you that aren’t Biggie fans, the line goes: “Some say the ex make the sex spec-tacular…” & I’m sure many of you couldn’t agree more!


Just think about it: you find yourself single one day and in the mood; you’re hot and bothered and starting to get really frustrated (see my last post) You don’t want to go out and get some strange booty but you’re also not planning on turning to your right hand man (if you know what I mean) So what do you do?

Some would say the answer is easy! Call up your ex! Having sex with your ex has quite a few pros:

  • There are no surprises. Since you most likely have had sex with your ex plenty of times, you already know what you’re going to get.
  • No guesswork. The two of you probably know each other very well and know each other’s likes and dislikes.
  • No hurt feelings. Well, not exactly… surely someone’s feelings might be hurt, but then again you’ve probably hurt each other’s feelings so much already that it won’t really matter.
  • Comfort. Face it, we all just want a little love and affection. And with an ex, at least you know the feelings are there somewhere no matter how deeply they’re buried.

On the other hand, having sex with an ex can be stepping into dangerous territory. Researchers say “the behavior could be risky, pushing former partners into emotionally complicated territory where safe-sex measures are likely to be cast aside.” (FoxNews.com) Because sex with an ex can seem so familiar, people might be less likely to use condoms, birth control and other precautions.

The fact of the matter is, when you’re feeling lonely & horny, an ex might seem like the perfect person to turn to. But just be prepared to deal with any consequences. I mean, they ARE your ex for a reason!

Remember, if you have your own thoughts and/or opinions on any of these matters or just have an idea for a future post feel free to e-mail me at thatssexual20@gmail.com & follow me on Twitter @jasmine_elissa

Sex quote of the day: “Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature.”



So I know it has been a long time, but I’m back by popular demand! Plus, I’ve been having too many juicy conversations not to share them with you all!

Today I think I’ll stick with the underlying theme of this post: it has been wayyyyyy too long!! (which is slowly becoming a theme in my life) And I’m not talking about writing anymore. I mean sex!

So many of my friends have been coming to me telling me how it has been so long since the last time they had sex. In fact, a lot of them are even in bad moods because of it! But is sexual frustration a real condition? I say yes!

People can be sexually frustrated whether or not they are in a relationship with another person. I have one friend who has never actually been in a relationship and it’s not that she doesn’t want to be, but she is a strong independent woman and won’t settle for anything less than perfect when it comes to a potential boyfriend. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t crave sex! Just because she hasn’t found Mr. Right doesn’t mean she wouldn’t like a Mr. Right Now. The opportunity just doesn’t present itself and she finds herself stressed and frustrated.

On the other hand, I know people who are in relationships that, for one reason or another, are not able to have sex as often as they would like. Or maybe one person wants to have sex more than the other does. This puts a lot of stress on the relationship and can cause issues between partners. Patricia Love, a marriage and family therapist, states “I think this is the most common frustration that men and women have.”

I think one of the best solutions for this problem can be summed up in the statement: communication is key! If telling your partner how you feel can potentially save your relationship spill it! And if you’re one of those who is not in a relationship but you have a certain someone who can fulfill those needs, get to talking! Craving sex is human nature people! It’s also a proven fact that sex can have a positive effect on your overall health and well being. Everyone has their own limits and needs so find out what that is for you and make it happen. & if it means we will have lots of happier people out there, please go out there and get some!!!!

Sex quote of the day: “There is nothing wrong with making love with the lights on. Just make sure the car door is closed.”

Let’s Not Be So Shy About Sex

Can you believe there is an entire day dedicated to this idea? This Sunday, July 31st, 2011 is Let’s Not Be So Shy About Sex Day!

That must mean that there are enough people around who are so shy about sex that we need an entire day focused on getting them to let loose! I must say… this saddens me quite a bit because I do not think sex is something to be shy about! Let’s face it people… without sex none of us would be here! Don’t tell me you think your mom was a virgin!

And we all know by now that I don’t think reproduction is the only excuse for sex! (In fact, reproduction may only decrease the amount of sex you have so you might want to put that off as long as possible.) Sex is amazing and fabulous and exhilarating! Can you tell I like it?

Anyway, for those of you who do need this day as inspiration to get out there and get a little frisky, go for it! I beg you… please go out there and talk about it, watch it, have it! Use this day to explore what you really like in bed. Take this opportunity to tell your partner what it really is you want done. You want her hand where? Tell her! You want his mouth on what? Tell him! You may even need a little alone time to discover your own body and use what you learn at another time. Maybe you’re a virgin who’s been putting off sex for years because you’re too shy. Well guess what! The day has come! Forget all your fears and inhibitions… have some sex and don’t be so shy!

If you want to learn more about this day and talk to other people about it you can visit the event page on Facebook by clicking here. Hey you never know… maybe you’ll even meet the person you can use your newfound sexual prowess with!

But just for the record: I definitely think every day should be “Let’s Not Be So Shy About Sex Day!”

Sex quote of the day: “Sex is a sensation. It’s about a man’s temptation, putting his location in a woman’s destination.”

It hurts so….good!

I think of sex as a way for two people to express themselves intimately. It’s private and very personal. Therefore, everyone has their own likes and dislikes when it comes to sex. As I was driving to work today I heard the song S&M by Rihanna and I started to wonder to myself…What is it about rough sex that people love so much?

Of course there are all different levels of rough sex ranging from light spanking and hair pulling to bondage and whipping. One thing they all have in common, though is the element of pain. If we all remember correctly, sex is supposed to be a good thing. So when did pain become a good thing? Well here’s something you probably didn’t know…

The same way that pleasure releases endorphins, so does pain! Endorphins are what your body release to make you feel good. So technically, when your sweetie gives your booty a spank or tugs at your hair, your body releases a chemical that makes you feel good. It’s up to the 2 of you just how much pain you want to inflict on each other. Did you know that because all those endorphins are being released during sex, the pain of a spank is actually lessened? So when you get what feels like a love tap in bed, that same thing might hurt a lot more if you were say…. washing the dishes. (no pleasure in that at all)

There might also be another reason why people enjoy rough sex so much. The act of inflicting pain on another person gives you a sense of control and the bedroom is always a place where couples play with the idea of giving and taking control from one another. Submission plays a big part in rough sex and gives way to some role play if you’re up for something interesting in bed. In the words of Rhanna… Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me!

Rihanna’s sexy video might make you want to give S&M a try!

So after your long day at work maybe you want to go buy a pair of handcuffs and surprise your honey! Like I always say… It hurts so good!

Sex quote of the day: “Is sex dirty? Only if it’s done right.”

Polly want a… cupcake?

I definitely believe that 3 of the best things in life are food, sex and sleep and preferably in that order!  But somehow I think there is somewhat of an issue when you are doing 2 of those things at the same time. You might remember one of my posts about sexsomnia when I talked about people who have sex while they are sleeping and are not even conscious of what they are doing. This might sound like a good time, but when you’re waking up from a long night’s “sleep” more exhausted than you were when you went to bed, not so much fun.

Now combining food and sex is a little different because you have to be conscious of what you are doing. Some people find the act of eating extremely erotic and experience a strong attraction to overweight or obese people. This is usually know as fat fetishism or feederism. Donna Simpson, a woman who was featured on the Tyra show, weighed over 500 pounds at the time the episode aired. However, she was not happy with her weight because she actually wanted to weigh 1,000 pounds! Her goal was to be the fattest woman in the world. Her husband was happy with her weight and found her “fatness and roundness” to be beautiful. He even expressed that he liked the way overweight woman sat with their legs spread wide so that their bellies could hang in between their thighs.  He would be known as a “Fat Admirer,” or F.A. for short.When I watched this episode I was so surprised because it is the complete opposite of the way most people in our society think of body image and it is different from what the media influences us to believe. If you don’t believe it either here is a clip of Donna and her husband on the Tyra show:

Now Donna was the one that first caught my attention on this show because it was so different to see people who were sexually attracted to people of such astounding weights. But some of the other women on the show had some even more surprising things to say. Jessica, another woman who was featured on the same episode, said that her husband actually enjoyed feeding her doughnuts and chocolate while they were having sex and played with her belly telling her he wanted it to be bigger. At the time of the show Jessica weighed over 400 pounds but her husband wanted her to weigh at least 500 pounds. This particular relationship was different from the one Donna had with her husband because Jessica no longer felt comfortable weighing that much and having her husband feed her and she was even afraid of losing weight for fear that her husband might leave her. Here is a clip of Jessica on the show:

After having seen these 2 women and their different lifestyles, you can see that there are all kinds of people out there. The world is not full of men and women who are attracted to the Cameron Diaz-es and Paris Hiltons of the world. I commend these women for standing up for the things they like in life even if they are different from what most people enjoy. The only things I would have to disagree with are the fact that Donna may be greatly jeopardizing her health in hopes of reaching her goal  and Jessica may be living a certain lifestyle in order to make her husband happy.

If you do something in your sex life that you think is strange or different embrace it. Not everyone is the same and people enjoy all kinds of different things. But just remember to keep your health in mind and stay true to yourself!

Sex quote of the day: “Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can’t even get into my own pants.”

One Night Stands

I was talking to a few girlfriends the other night and we were discussing the inner conflicts we sometimes have when it comes to sex. One of my friends was talking about the argument she often has with herself when she is about to sleep with a new man. She goes out and has a great time and finds a cutie that turns her on. As the night comes to an end they both go somewhere together and start to get it on. This is where her mind begins to wander and she plays her own version of 20 questions. Her first problem is that she doesn’t like the way sex with a condom feels. (Maybe she should read my post on Safe (and good) sex) But… being a responsible woman she knows she can only have unsafe sex with someone she has known for a longer time and can trust. So she can risk having sex that, in her opinion, will suck or she can risk contracting an STD or getting pregnant. The even bigger problem is that by the time she has finished running all of her options through her head and coming to a conclusion, her body has been absent-mindedly enjoying everything this man has been doing to her. She realizes that she has allowed him to touch, kiss, and caress her and she has been doing the same to him. She lays there half undressed as the moment nears when they might have sex. But then… she comes to her senses and realizes she  doesn’t want to make a decision she might regret and she politely makes an excuse as to why she needs to leave. Time and time again this happens and we can only wonder if she will only be able to feel comfortable having sex when she is in a long term relationship.

Here’s some stand-up by Dane Cook (who, by the way, I think is definitely a hottie) about a one night stand he had…

I bring up this one friend and her situation because I am sure this is a dilemma many of you out there face very often. What is it about one night stands that is so appealing and intriguing? Perhaps it is the ability to enjoy oneself without having to face any consequences or be burdened with any responsibility the next day. A night of pure pleasure with no strings attached. It seems so simple. However, what if the one night stand is something we come to regret one day? What if it is something that in fact brings with it more stress rather than peace of mind?

The media make one night stands seem like a simple whimsical thing people do on the weekends,  but in real life I think people sometimes grapple with the idea of sleeping with someone and not hearing from them again.

Here’s a song you might enjoy:

Sex quote of the day: “:Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.”