I was talking to a few girlfriends the other night and we were discussing the inner conflicts we sometimes have when it comes to sex. One of my friends was talking about the argument she often has with herself when she is about to sleep with a new man. She goes out and has a great time and finds a cutie that turns her on. As the night comes to an end they both go somewhere together and start to get it on. This is where her mind begins to wander and she plays her own version of 20 questions. Her first problem is that she doesn’t like the way sex with a condom feels. (Maybe she should read my post on Safe (and good) sex) But… being a responsible woman she knows she can only have unsafe sex with someone she has known for a longer time and can trust. So she can risk having sex that, in her opinion, will suck or she can risk contracting an STD or getting pregnant. The even bigger problem is that by the time she has finished running all of her options through her head and coming to a conclusion, her body has been absent-mindedly enjoying everything this man has been doing to her. She realizes that she has allowed him to touch, kiss, and caress her and she has been doing the same to him. She lays there half undressed as the moment nears when they might have sex. But then… she comes to her senses and realizes she doesn’t want to make a decision she might regret and she politely makes an excuse as to why she needs to leave. Time and time again this happens and we can only wonder if she will only be able to feel comfortable having sex when she is in a long term relationship.
Here’s some stand-up by Dane Cook (who, by the way, I think is definitely a hottie) about a one night stand he had…
I bring up this one friend and her situation because I am sure this is a dilemma many of you out there face very often. What is it about one night stands that is so appealing and intriguing? Perhaps it is the ability to enjoy oneself without having to face any consequences or be burdened with any responsibility the next day. A night of pure pleasure with no strings attached. It seems so simple. However, what if the one night stand is something we come to regret one day? What if it is something that in fact brings with it more stress rather than peace of mind?
The media make one night stands seem like a simple whimsical thing people do on the weekends, but in real life I think people sometimes grapple with the idea of sleeping with someone and not hearing from them again.
Here’s a song you might enjoy:
Sex quote of the day: “:Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.”